Pass the Dutchie - Euroguff Day 3
Even Hans Christian Andersen couldn't make it up. The princes of Denmark suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and still hung on to a one-nil win over the cloggy Dutch.
The Danes have recently become known for brutal thrillers and it was cheering to see their fans working that family-friendly, heart-warming entertainment into their fancy dress
Germany 1-0 Portugal
Ronaldo was left doing his Nick Clegg sad face as the Germans got off to a solid start - closet rockabilly Mario Gomez quiffing home the winning goal
Spain v Italy
What a mouthwatering mediterranean feast this should be. The reigning world and European champions come into the tournament as such favourites that just three Euroguffers (Andy Grey, Scotty McNasty and Harry Redface) have the Italians stopping the Spanish walking off with, ahem, a paella goals.
Ireland v Croatia
Come on Ireland! Giovanni Trapattoni's boys arrive with a gesture-laden confidence. This poll in today's Irish Independent is surely not a sign of inflated expectations:
Statistically slightly more valid league table
Yes, my wife is in the lead. I am not fixing it (but I am hoping to get out of mowing the lawn today)
Tax name
Tax avoidance name
Total
1=
Brown Fox
Jim Chambers
6
1=
Mrs Euroguff
Mrs Carlosfandango_
6
1=
Wheat Dodger
Leanne McGirr
6
1=
Wicked Woy Wodgson
David Patterson
6
1=
Swiss T
Thomas Angst
6
6=
Andy Grey
Darren Holdaway
4
6=
2012sheds
Pete smith
4
6=
Mike Bassett
Eamonn Newell
4
6=
McFuddle 'O Toole
Gordon
4
6=
Strev87
dave strevett
4
6=
Steve Mclaren
JT
4
6=
Don revie
Simon Andrews
4
6=
Earsane Wanger
Paul Shaw
4
6=
Toy Dodgson
Kelsey O
4
6=
Arsenedof Nowhere
Darren Hanson
4
6=
Septic Tank Charlton
Jeremy Crisp
4
6=
Simoneo Huesserelli
Simon
4
6=
Bring Back Bobby Robson
Dan Jamieson
4
6=
Naven Johnson
Eddie Vassallo
4
6=
Is Pele Playing?
John Orta
4
6=
Toy Bodgson
Tom Barton
4
6=
Soccer Sage
Mike Xenakis
4
6=
Yankee's Spankers
Dave Robertshaw
4
6=
Vuvuzela
Sandra Benfer
4
6=
Christophe Woodini
Chris Wood
4
6=
Hatch's Heros
Chris Matthews
4
6=
Stevie's Wunders
Steve Andrews
4
6=
Del Garnett
Darren Gavigan
4
29=
DK Willy
DK
2
29=
Tim Henman
david hickson
2
29=
Bayer Neverlusen
Rob Broome
2
29=
Sepp Bladder
Carl Mesner Lyons
2
29=
El Pringle
Keith Pringle
2
29=
Simon Grayson
Paul Revy
2
29=
roy the hodgson
harvey
2
29=
B B Foot
Rory
2
29=
Benny The Ball
Nick Townend
2
29=
Scotty McNasty
Andrew Robb
2
29=
Ronaldo McDonald
Cephas Howard
2
29=
Jigsaw (goes to pieces in the box)
Matt Brooke-Smith
2
29=
Harry Redface
Dan McGrath
2
29=
George Osborne is a twat
Andy Young
2
29=
Mr. Awesome
Geroge Pokorny
2
29=
Kicker Conspiracy
Tim Fiddies
2
29=
Canary
Simon Barnes
2
29=
Gazza
Gary Taylor
2
29=
Paulo Di Harringtonio
Paul Harrington
2
29=
Mozzer
Paul Conroy
2
29=
Fabio Crapello
Martin B
2
29=
Anjusha Klins-Morinho
Anna Wilson
2
29=
Trap A Tony
Tony Power
2
29=
The Special [Measures] One
Tim Donnelly Smith
2
29=
Messi Gardener
Johnny T
2
29=
Claudio Inglesias Failte
Claude Tonna-Barthet
2
55=
Dario Made-the-Gradi
David of Crook
0
55=
Roy Hodgson
John Catterfeld
0
55=
Tom Laidlaw
Tom Laidlaw
0
55=
Ivor Greatidea
Steve Edney
0
55=
Lorem Ipsum
Jon D
0
55=
Bill Shankly
Bob Steadman
0
55=
Hansi Mueller
Bernd Friedle
0
55=
Big Ron Colonel Saunders
Andrew Hartland
0
55=
Normski Gunner
Norman House
0
55=
Letina lotagoals
Berry
0
55=
Dirk Diggler
Nik Goodman
0
The official Euro 2012 logo, which pops up as a TV interstitial with remarkable frequency. Questionned by the official Mrs Euroguff as "What's that f@%king bit of lung?"